Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Distance  between Intentions(I) and Interpretations(I)

Sunday, July 1st, 2012

Relationships is built on Trust. What do we mean by Trust. Trust is a form of total faith where listener fully listens to the communicator and interprets with the similar intentions of the communicator.

In normal relationships, the communicator may have certain intentions and he may be articulating few things which are based on his ‘set of experiences’ – experience set X1. The listener listens to what the communicator has said and then send it for the ‘mental interpretor’. The mental interpreter of the listener has been built using Listeners ‘Set of Experiences’ – say Experience set X2.

Thus the Sentence S1 will have intentions based on Data(Experiences) set X1 while same sentence S1 got interpreted using Data(Experiences) set X2. Most likely the results will be different and may result in conflicts. We may call these conflicts as I to I conflicts.

Thus Communicator has two choices

  1. Establish Trust with the listener where listener stop applying his ‘Interpreter’. During this period listener stop interpreting. He just listens and absorb without interpretation. It happens when one listens to the Speech of some Authority. Authority can be Professor, Expert, Guru, Celebrity etc.
  2. Simplify the language to the extent so that one does not require Interpreter. In other words, one chooses the words from the Listeners dictionary rather than his own dictionary.

In some personal or long time personal relationships, one builds a strong set of experiences with each other. These set of past experiences forms the data set for the interpretations. Till the time one has 100% Trust or in trusting(good) mood, the listener doesn’t apply interpreter and listens. In other situations he does. These are the situations which may likely to take the conversations closer to Zone of Conflict.

RELATIONSHIP

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
  1. Observe – Catch the person doing the right things.
  2. Acknowledge – Openly acknowledge it.
  3. Appreciate – If your ego permits, appreciate it.